Dear SNL

Dear Saturday Night Live,

I assume you will start this week's episode of SNL with a send-up of last night's Republican debate, likely focused on Rick Perry's soon-to-be-immortal "oops" moment.  I ask that you resist the temptation to go for the easy laugh.  Don't present him as befuddled - it is just too easy, and frankly the actual event was more uncomfortably funny (ala the BBC version of "The Office") than any blundering you might present.  Instead, take it a level above.

Instead, I propose the following skit:

Show Rick as a lucid and articulate policy wonk.  Have the moderator rapid fire questions at him, and put him in full command of detailed answers to every question.  Have the audience applauding, and even other candidates chiming in with nods and golf claps.  Finally, ask him an energy question.  Have his answer be distinctly left-wing.  Have him start talking about green energy and the impact of carbon-based emissions on the environment.  Have the other candidates shaking their heads and confused.

The moderator could pause, tilt his head, and ask the question "Governor Perry, you seem to have gained a remarkable level of understanding of the issues, but you also seem to have moved decidedly to the left.  How do you explain your transformation?"

The Governor would glance side to side and very directly, in a much more robotic voice, would say "Why I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."  The moderator would press the issue, and finally the governor would take off the Rick Perry mask to reveal Al Gore underneath.  To the surprised oohs and ahhhs of everyone, and the exclamation of "Al Gore??" by the moderator, Al responds "Oops." then follows up a pause with "Way-ell, I have come to re-ah-lize that a democrat would not be able to take the White House this year.  But it is my time.  I won before and I will win again.  The people need me!  The planet needs me!  I have a nobel prize!  And LIVE FROM NEW YORK..."

Dining on Nostalgia

Shortly after we began dating, my wife and I had the first of what would become many meals at the Georgia Diner - a surprisingly authentic New York City style diner run by a Greek family in the Yankee-free town of Lawrenceville, Georgia.  Over the years we continued to dine there most Saturday mornings, and never had a bad meal, despite sampling nearly everything on a menu which contained - as any legitimate NYC Diner menu would - at least 20 pages of artery clogging items.

I was 28 years old and coming off a series of casual relationships.  When we sat down, the nice waitress looked at us and said "I can tell you guys just started dating, and I can also tell you are going to be together for a long time".  We were sure she had said it before to countless couples, but it felt special anyway, and contributed to the positive feelings we had about the place.  On our subsequent visits, she was often our waitress, and always reminded us of her early prediction.

After a few years, without thinking about it, we began going there less often (the Original Pancake House became a more popular choice for us).  Finally, on one of our less frequent Saturday breakfasts, I looked at my wife and surprised myself by saying that I hoped the meal would be better than the last few times.  She had just ordered the Eggs Benedict, and said, "Yeah, now that you say that, the food really hasn't been good lately."   After a bit more reflection, she added "actually it has been awful -  even the Greek food - which is so strange considering... "

At this, we looked around and noticed all the people wearing turbans.  The wait staff.  The cashier.  The cook in the kitchen.  Half the customers.

Our first thought - "Ummm... when did the Greeks start wearing turbans?" - led to a more sensible question about the current ownership.  Apparently the restaurant had been sold to an Indian family several months before.  Since that time, unbeknownst to us, we had been dining only on our nostalgia - blinded to the unpalatable nature of the food by our affection and personal connection to the restaurant ( "Look honey, no one is sitting in our booth!").

Oh, and the eggs Benedict arrived with some kind of ketchup-based gravy in lieu of the Hollandaise sauce.  "Check please."